My Uncle

I had an uncle, very fine, who never worked a day.

When he was out of funds he simply had his little say:

"I could have spent my hours in an office or a mine,

but that would not be suitable for one of my great line.

Instead I give you people leave to hand me little tips,

So I can have a snifter and go on my little trips.

I'm sure you see I can't be left out in the cold to die;

You'd never live the shame down, it would give you a black eye."

And so he never wanted for the finer things – what's more,

We treated him like royalty and not a mooching bore.

So let this be a lesson when the government comes calling;

Give it cheerfully and you will find it much less galling.