The Extra Fee

 

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Invent a fee for government to charge and you'll be hailed
as a civic hero (though there's some would have you jailed).
A charge for trash collectors who are silent, with a smile;
a fee for clerks who really know a trash can from a file.
Don't forget a bonus for the cop upon the beat
when he busts a criminal who isn't very fleet;
keep the parks wide open with no charge for going in,
but to come back out you pay a pound of flesh and skin.
Driver's license photos are disgraceful, all agree --
if you want a touch-up you just pay a little fee.
How about a charge for every window in your house
or a running meter when at City Hall you grouse?
Birds migrating must pay toll for using our air space;
let the bookies pay some vig upon our old rat race.
Churches ringing bells upon the sacred Sabbath morn
should be dinged quite piously and vigorously shorn;
every tic from every clock should pay a heavy price,
and lets tax Lawrence Welk reruns right into Paradise!
Oh, there's money to be made from a variety of troubles --
never mind the rage that boils in taxpayers and bubbles.

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