on the wagon

 

Maybe alcoholics had the right thought all the time;

When you're drinking liquor they distill out all the grime.

While water from our faucets is a chemical pea soup;

So full of medication it could cure your children's croup.

It has fertilizers from our lawns and nearby farms

And enough petroleum to set off smoke alarms.

Trace amounts of heavy metals and some growth hormones

Shortens nervous systems while elongating our bones.

Even when the measurement comes in parts per billion,

Mercury and other crap could make me pee vermillion.

I'm going on the wagon when it comes to H2O;

From now on only vinegar throughout my veins will flow.

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