Kleenex

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The kleenex is a mighty sheet,
cuz when you go "kerchoo!"
it hides your germs and snot away
so none of it I view.
And then you toss it daintily
into a trash container;
even college students should
see that is a no-brainer.
Some folks prefer to use TP
but I think that is crass;
because, my dear, that is the stuff
you use to wipe your ass.
Still others wipe upon their sleeve
or hawk and spit away;
concertos on their sinuses
I sure would like to play.
Of course, there is the handkerchief,
that lamest Christmas gift;
it's nothing but a booger vault-
let's make 'em all go "pffft!"
Yes, kleenex is the only thing
to quell a winter sneeze,
but if you use the same one twice
don't shake hands with me -- Please!

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