Spike Jones

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There used to be Bing Crosby,
Perry Como, and their clones.
But if you wanted song unique
you had to hear Spike Jones.
A hepcat with a chainsaw,
he would mow down the Top Ten,
then play a set of 'Chopsticks'
on the chimes of staid Big Ben.
His trombones squirted water
and his french horns were kazoos.
And what he did to classics
made Stokowski blow a fuse!
He took each note and twisted
it into a pretzel shape.
He took all stuffy music
and did crush it like a grape.
This maniac did flourish
when the zoot suit was in style;
the generation after
was reduced to Gomer Pyle.
So when the grandkids tease you
for your lack of comic view,
just sit back and remember
you had Spike's "Cocktails for Two".

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