Of Money & Mortality

 

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Every crook and dumb schlemiel
signs up for a big book deal.
Those corrupt and bold gold-diggers
often get up to six figures.
If you are Blagojevich,
spill your guts and you'll be rich.
Tales of crime and deep addiction
are what pass for good non-fiction.
But publishers had better learn
these aren't books for which I yearn.
If you want to see my cash
bring out something more than trash.
Otherwise the library
is the only place for me.
 
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Even when you've bought the farm,
debt ignores that fatal charm.
Death may take a holiday;
bill collectors holler "nay!"
Sounding upbeat and quite fresh
they demand their pound of flesh.
Dialing up the next of kin
as they tuck the body in;
it's a great financial tool,
made to order for a ghoul.
If they call me, I will tell
them "seek the source" --
go straight to hell.

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