thrift store

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Thrift stores have some bargains
if you run a haunted house
or plan on raising bedbugs
or perhaps a little mouse.
You cannot call it junk because
that hurts too many feelings --
as with vodka, you can't say
it's just potato peelings.
"Slightly Used" and "Almost New" --
they both have the same meaning;
broken, worn out, shabby,
and in need of lots of cleaning.
Still, the thrift store customers
will throw away their dough --
cuz they saw something like it
on the last Antiques Roadshow.

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school daze

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Education in our schools
is surely out of whack
when every child must tote to school
a mountaineer's backpack.
I see them stagger on the bus,
expressions all forlorn.
They look like they're about to climb
the dreaded Matterhorn.
Why do schools insist upon
supplies in such excess?
A notebook and a pencil
ought to do the trick, I guess.
But no, there is the laptop
and a box of Kleenex, too --
a cell phone and a rule book
and a jug of Elmer's glue.
A quart of bottled water
(guess the drinking fountain's broke).
Calculator, paint set and
some handwash -- what a joke!
Scholars are not made from
all these knick-knacks in a bag.
No wonder kids play hooky
and their test scores always lag.

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