Never fear if you're a crook;
The army won't go by the book.
Your enlistment they will favor
With a wink and quiet waiver.
Sex crimes are no bar to serve;
Don't ask, don't tell, if you're a perv.
Hit and run is just a prank;
In
Don't risk going to the slammer;
Get with Uncle Sammy's glamour!
So what if you are just a brute?
Soon you'll make the cops salute!
Express yourself wherever you are. Mobilize!
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