customer service

When you use the telephone

To negotiate a loan

Or to transact other business at your bank

You are driven to distraction

By the lack of interaction

With a voice that's warm and human, even frank.

You are treated like cold mutton,

Told to push a certain button;

When you do so you are dumped into a void.

You may hear a little Bach

While you sit around and gawk,

Trying not to scream: "I'm getting so annoyed!"

Now it gets a little tricky;

If you are not very picky

You might wind up with the menu Espanol.

Then it's adios amigo,

You can go and play Stratego

For you cannot start again to save your soul.

But if you should perservere

It will soon be very clear

That you've entered some place like the Twilight Zone.

You are talking to some goon

Who is stationed on the moon

And you do not get the accent or the tone.

By the time your call is through

You have talked until you're blue

And you need a nitro tablet to calm down.

Every business does the same.

Their phone service is a game

To see how fast in deep confusion you can drown.

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