MORE NURSERY RHYMES FOR MODERN TIMES
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To post a letter first-class.
They found the price had risen twice
So now they use their email.
This little piggy went on welfare.
This little piggy lost his home.
This little piggy had some issues.
This little piggy had a gun.
And that little piggy was a bad little piggy.
He ran Bang Bang Bang all the way home.
Little Miss Muffet
Went to the buffet,
Eating transfatty oils.
She had a fried spider
Which went off inside her.
She's now in a nursing home.
Old King Cole
Saw the exit poll.
The exit poll saw he.
It was not complete
But since he was beat
He fired his fiddlers three.
Jack be nimble.
Jack be sick.
No insurance – he's up a crick!
Wee Willie Winkie
Ran through the town.
Steroids and pills turned
His muscles brown.
He knocked at the door
Of his pharmacist
And told him his toes
Had turned into a fist.
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