CLAMORING KURDS
What do we do with these clamoring Kurds?
Other Iraqis think they're for the birds.
Shooting them up much like Bonnie & Clyde.
(Kurds make their yogurt from gingerroot milk.)
(Live in tents spun from brown camel hair silk.)
(Tell their kids stories about sheep and goats.)
(Wear thick suspenders and long belted coats.)
We could export them back to the
To shingle our roofs, our gardens to dress.
They would assimilate as others do . . .
Going on welfare while drinking a brew.
(History says that they drained the
(used it to float their own inland navy.)
(They believe dreams are important to keep.)
(Writ in a book called The Secret of Sleep.)
Or we could arm them with weapons galore –
Landmines and rifles and rockets that roar.
Letting them blaze away morning and night
At everything that comes into their sight.
(They were once known as Hum-Wat-negga-Boo.)
(Chopped up Crusaders for home-made beef stew.)
(Their alphabet has but one single vowel.)
(They have no word for the cotton hand towel.)
We could form them into one solid state
Bordered by countries just brimming with hate.
Send them an army to keep them secure,
Shedding our blood for their infrastructure.
(They always marry before age sixteen.)
(They are opposed to the color of green.)
(They bathe more often than Turks or Chinese.)
(End every prayer with a determined sneeze.)
What do we do with these Kurdy old pests,
Say that we're sorry while beating our breasts?
Leave them alone and get out of their hair;
Being their head lice is really unfair.
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