The Senator Gives a Speech

THE SENATOR GIVES A SPEECH

 

The senator got up to speak.  His audience was ready.

They knew he was a patriot; he told them so quite steady.

Gay bunting hung about the place and flags dripped from the ceiling.

So many mikes around the stand – they'd send Marconi reeling.

A news release had told the press his speech would be inspiring.

Reporters hoped it would be short and might say he's retiring.

Once all applause had died away and each mike had been tested

The senator got under way and common sense molested:

"I come before you all today to speak of things specific.

A criminal conspiracy that's spreading and terrific!"

"No corner of our nation's safe from these illegal entries.

Not even if our borders had a million eager sentries!"

"And once they're in they do destroy our peaceful safe existence.

They must be met and turned right back with sturdier resistance!"

The subject didn't seem to stir the media completely.

The senator's own wife could not do much more than smile sweetly.

But then he pounded with his fist and this is what they all heard:

"Much more must be done to defend the purity of our word!"

"Too many words are sneaking in like chutzpah and cojones

that have no legal standing and are frivolous baloneys!"

"Greek and Latin are the basis of our national discourse

and I reckon just a smatter, just a smidgen of Old Norse.

Our lusty language is just fine without this foreign wingding.

We need not countenance such stuff from Bollywood and bling-bling!"

"So I propose we pass a law that makes a misdemeanor

of every word imported by a Frenchman or a Beaner."

The crowd looked for a wink or nod to show them he was kidding

But he kept up this antic rant and showed no signs of quitting.

(and all this time his wife kept on her smiling and her knitting.)

"In conclusion, we must hurry, pouncing like a lioness,

on undocumented phrases, helping out the INS!"

The story broke and made headlines.  The senator was roasted.

But cooler heads prevailed at last – He was Cabinet-posted.

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