Gimme cola on the rocks, with just a splash of lime –
Or make it Orange Crush to help me wash away the grime.
Seven Up, or Bubble Up, or maybe Moutain Dew –
Anything that's fizzy, with a chemical tattoo!
Take your snooty sommelier and all those neat liqueurs
And send 'em packing – I want belching that I know endures.
Red crème soda, or a tonic from old Dr. Brown –
And who can ever duplicate the flavor of Royal Crown?
Sure it's full of sugar and frenetic carbonation;
Sure it has no alcohol to start intoxication.
So I gain a little weight by sipping from a can
Of Fanta while my arteries turn into stiff rattan –
Drink your coffee or your tea, but do not put a muzzle
On my lust for some Jarritos to securely guzzle!
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