Deep in Sherwood forest Robin Hood and Merry Men
Keep their fingers sticky stealing chimes from off Big Ben.
They shoot a bunch of arrows and they seem to be in luck
As they bring down roasted pigeons and a butchered-out roe buck.
Dressed in green, with pointy caps, and leotards as well,
No one tells them to go bathe, and brother do they smell!
They cannot stand the Sheriff so they rob his people blind,
Leaving him with nothing but a moldy old cheese rind.
Maid Marian drops in to play at cops-n-robbers, too.
The whole gang's drinking mead & ale, nobody's feeling blue.
Little John and Friar Tuck go look for merchants hoarding
Lots of gold, which Robin Hood finds exceptionally rewarding.
He robs the rich and feeds the poor and puts a bit aside
And hires smart accountants all this wampum to go hide.
Some say he is a yeoman and some say that he has rank
But none of them know anything about his offshore bank.
To maximize his profits he starts a new franchise,
Selling Sherwood woodwork and cheap archery supplies.
The sheriff and sharp Robin Hood decide they will embark
Together on a project to construct a Hoodland Park,
With rides and Friar Tuck dolls and funnel cakes galore.
Maid Marian is put in charge of every gimcrack store.
The kids get bows and arrows and feathers in their caps.
Little John makes quite a haul by selling tourist maps.
Now everyone is happy – King Richard . . . maybe not.
He got stuck with crowd control out in the parking lot.
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