You can nibble on a carrot, if you wanna be Bugs Bunny –
Or try a jalapeño if you wanna nose that's runny.
Cel'ry is so noisy they can hear you through the wall
And a radish will encourage an intestine free-for-all.
Scallions make you tear up and a cauliflower nub
Reminds me too much of a rather cold and heartless grub.
I don't mind a salad, if it comes with steak and taters –
And an oily dressing that could grease some escalators.
The only way a veggie will not make me gag and choke
Is if it is rolled up so I can light it for a smoke.
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