Bridge is not a game I play or understand at all;
People with a deck of cards who have a quiet brawl.
There's partners and a dummy and an animated bid,
and staring at each other with the cold eyes of a squid.
They open with the bidding and the double and the pass
And have no inclination for some chips or social glass.
When the auction's over they begin by taking tricks,
While underneath the table there are several stealthy kicks.
There's undertricks and over overtricks and topsy-turvy scoring
And strategies by Goren that are really quite deploring.
They're trumping one another and finessing like a cad;
The table's heating up as if it were a launching pad.
So when the game is finished friendships often are relinquished
And married couples have seen their quaint partnerships extinguished.
Gimme checkers any day, or Scrabble or Parcheesi;
I'm not playing Hamlet, I just wanna take it easy!
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