Candles

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What's the deal with candles?
Everybody keeps a few
in a kitchen cabinet
in case a storm blows through.
But -- hoo boy! -- take a look today
around the old home place
and you'll find one everywhere
twinkling in your face.
The living room is loaded
with 'em stinking up the air
in barberry and citron
and vanilla or green pear.
The bathroom's got one burning
and the dining room's ablaze;
in their little glasses
they produce a perfumed haze.
The reason for this nuisance
is that we are slowly drifting
towards a nation of such sloth
that candles we are gifting.
Birthday, anniversary,
or some romantic joy --
people giving candles
are a common, lazy ploy.
Try and give me candles
as and gift and you will find
how it feels when beeswax
is crammed up your cheap behind!

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