Ice Fishing

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Now icefishing's a hobby
I will never undertake.
You either must be crazy
or a nature-loving fake.
Sitting 'round a frozen hole
and waiting for a strike
isn't how I want to stalk
the wily Northern pike.
How the perch are laughing
at fanatics turning blue,
freezing off their heinies
while their blood congeals to glue.
Even with a fish house
where the cold abates a fraction
I cannot see anything
that makes it an attraction.
So don't ask me to go out
where the arctic wind don't cease;
but if you get a lucky strike
I'll gladly take a piece.

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