HOW I GOT THIS BODY

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How I got my body
is a tale that should be told;
as a work of wonderment
it's worth its weight in gold.
I started very early
stoking it with fats and salt,
with starchy stuff and sugar
and a sprinkling of malt.
I put in many hours
watching television shows;
I sat so still that lichen
grew upon my face and toes.
I never walked when riding
was an option I could use.
In fact for this past decade
I have not worn out my shoes.
My undeveloped muscles
are as flabby as wet rags;
my stomach is an avalanche
that on my beltway lags.
As I approach my sixties
you may think that I am daft --
but I just want to emulate
old William Howard Taft!

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