Protect me from my government, oh Lord, I daily pray.
From immigration Nazis who might send me far away.
From IRS officials who suspect my every move
Conceals a priceless treasure I have stolen from the Louvre.
From defenders of the Homeland who will beat me with a stick
If they hear me speaking just a tad of Arabic.
From wiretapping dim bulbs that record my every sigh
And child support vampires that have almost drained me dry.
From bellicose behavior by the paunchy Pentagon
That puts my kids in danger for a State Department con.
From red tape and corruption and the rule of bureaucrats
Who pout and sulk and pinch and nap like snotty little brats.
The only patriots I know have lined their pockets well.
They love their country's money and I hope they go to hell.
Protect me from my government, oh Lord, I daily plead
And grant me a firm lawyer who can all their plots impede.
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