On the Take

The Lord helps those who help themselves,

I've often heard it said.

But what so many help themselves

To is my daily bread.

The hotels add gratuities

They surely don't deserve.

The entertainment tax downtown

Keeps hitting on a nerve.

They clip you at the airport

Every time you take a flight,

And banks have got so many fees

I've lost my appetite.

Free parking is an urban myth;

The parking meter rules.

Your waitress gets a hefty tip,

Although she's slow and drools.

Everyone is on the take,

From maid to Maitre D'.

And undertakers demonstrate

That even death ain't free.

A service charge for everything.

A tax at every stroke . . .

While companies go belly-up

And government is broke.

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