Blow the trumpets, swing the gates;
Everybody gets rebates!
Food shelves hand out pork and beans.
Down-sized folk sell magazines.
Bankers cannot count their liens.
Rebates make us kings and queens!
Pat old Bush upon the back;
He sees white but never black.
Everybody's lost their lease.
Bankruptcies do sure increase.
Bill collectors never cease.
Rebates are the golden fleece!
Factories are making rust.
Pension plans all turn to dust.
Every boom contains a bust.
Rebates are a sterling trust!
Military actions show
Someone has a lot of dough.
Parents mourn for fallen sons.
Ghettos blaze with cheap handguns.
Like a stocking, Wall Street runs.
Rebates! Holier than nuns.
Shaking down the money tree;
There are nuts for you and me!
Baby boomers going broke.
Chubby kids are prone to stroke.
Not the rich, but poor we soak.
Rebates are the magic cloak.
In this great land of the free
How about a shopping spree?
Credit cards spread like disease.
Fortunes squandered on TVs.
Gussets weaken at the knees.
Rebates make the custard freeze!
Happy days are here again;
AIDs strikes down but one in ten!
Mortgages become black holes.
Loans are juggled like hot coals.
We've already sold our souls.
Rebates play well at the polls.
Beat the drum and strip the gears;
Rebates will dry all our tears!
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