Central Standard Time

                   CENTRAL STANDARD TIME

 

You may boast of the Atomic Clock

Or prate of Big Ben's chime.

But all that ever ticks for me is

Central Standard Time.

 

When it's noon in Dallas-Fort Worth

Then as far as I'm concerned

Everyone is having luncheon –

Your time tables be durned!

 

In Omaha, Nebraska, when

The banks all close at 4

They ought to pull the grills down

Out in Minsk and Singapore.

 

I do not say the people

Who inhabit Katmandu

Are negligent or indolent

It's just that when they view

A clock that doesn't jibe

With all the clocks in Illinois

It upsets the natural order

And extinguishes all joy.

 

Central Standard Time –

The name alone is bedrock sound;

It has a meretricious scope

And openness unbound.

 

It speaks of plains and prairies

Where the good folk never snooze

While minding everybody's P's

And everybody's Q's.

 

Where potlucks in church basements

And the grade school spelling bee

Are run on time –

The only time –

Our sacred CST.

 

Mountain and Pacific

And that Eastern rigmarole

Were foisted on the public

By some pettifogging troll.

 

The division is abnormal

And tantamount to crime.

The Brotherhood of Man

Begins in Central Standard Time.

 

Away with artificial lines

That tear our clocks apart!

We'll set things right as soon as

Daylight Savings Time doth start.

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