Artificial

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Everything is artificial
in this world today;
sweeteners and butter
and the perfume that we spray.
If it's real it's fattening
or hurtful or expensive --
makes a fella moody
and a little bit defensive.
Wish I had a dollar
every time I bought some fake
eggs and cheap vanilla
in my Twinkie or cupcake.
Those chemicals are lodging
in my body and my hair,
and soon I will be show-cased
at somebody's science fair.
These substitutions bother me;
I think it is pathetic
that all the world aspires to
existence so synthetic.

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