timericks

Hark! You see them dawn to dawn –

Slaves a-toiling on their lawn;

Mowing, mulching, weeding, 'til,

Sickened, I have had my fill.

Striving for a velvet green,

Such a battle is obscene!

So much water on their grass;

Cascades of the Nile surpass!

My lawn has more modest needs –

Parchment brown and full of weeds.

I'm the master, not my yard.

Ignoring it is not so hard.

Mother Nature waters it;

I only mow when I see fit.

And I see fit infrequently,

When it's up around my knee.

In my hammock I will swing,

While the thistledown takes wing.

Let the neighbors hurl their curses;

I have time to pen these verses.

 

 

Little red stop sign, aren't you cute!

As right past I gaily scoot.

On this leafy street it seems

Pedestrians are only dreams.

Traffic laws I'll fudge a mite –

Even squirrels are not in sight.

There's no need my brake to floor;

I'm only doing twenty-four.

But then in my cracked rearview mirror

A flashing red light does appear.

Oh officer, please lenient be . . .

That stop sign was behind a tree!

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