Tuesday, February 5, 2008

In the Righteous State of Maine

    THE RIGHTEOUS STATE OF MAINE

 

In the righteous state of Maine

Where all school boards share one brain

They passed a resolution, so to speak.

 

From now on a lad or lass

Who might pass a little gas

Is suspended from all classes for a week.

 

This is hard on many teens

Who enjoy a bowl of beans;

They turn blue while holding in the end result.

 

Poor bloated kindergartners

Unaware that they are partners

In a crime that causes nothing but tumult!

 

Now what about the teachers –

Are they such empty creatures

That have never broken wind inside the room?

 

They are simply more discrete

About what and how they eat –

But I bet they still have pulled a sonic boom!

 

In the righteous state of Maine

Where the school boards still retain

A sense of self-importance quite immense

 

They will next forbid the burp

And the surreptitious slurp

From a bowl of soup except in self-defense.

 

And the picking of a nose

Or the clicking of some toes

Will be grounds for prompt dismissal, no appeal.

 

Halitosis will be stopped

And all sweat severely mopped

Until kids in crystal purity congeal.

 

Smelling of sweet peppermint,

Without belly button lint,

The kids of Maine go marching two by two.

 

For the glory of the state

They no longer defecate

And their food each bite a dozen times will chew!



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