There are states now that will give
You the right to bear a shiv;
Do not lollygag or stagger --
Go and get yourself a dagger!
Scythe or lance or blunt machete,
You can now make great confetti
Out of anything you please –
Like old Zorro, slash some Z's.
That brass pen knife won't go far
Without a matching scimitar.
Fight a duel with rapier wit.
Prick a pesky facial zit.
Clean your nails or carve some jade;
Do it with your own switchblade.
We still are the Land of the Free,
Where ev'ryone does surgery!
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