Of all the Christmas treats that dazzle,
None is apt to so much frazzle
All my hopes of yuletide cheer
As the eggnog standing near.
Like a romance that's turned sour;
Once a sweetness, now a glower –
Eggnog curdles my ambition
To see Peace on Earth's fruition.
Gooey glop, or gloppy goo,
It's a drink that witches brew
For the weighty guy or gal
Who really needs some Metracal.
How many times must I explain
I'd rather have a seltzer plain?
When for calories I grub
I think I'll stick to syllabub.
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