I've got a little theory that goes in and out with me,
And what can be the use of it will be on Fox TV.
For I'm convinced the Russians, or the Martians, or the Bears,
Are infiltrating government and sneaking up my stairs.
As soon as they take over we will have a new world order,
Worse than anything from Sauron in the land of Mordor.
They will tattoo numbers on our foreheads, sure as shootin',
And we'll have to kowtow to that runty little Putin.
There is proof a-plenty that conspiracy exists;
It's written down in code upon a dozen shopping lists.
If you want to help me keep these predators at bay
Just send a money order with my name on it today!
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