Airport Security

I wanna be protected at the airport from the folk

Who think a crashing jetliner is such a funny joke.

So I don't mind a pat down or an X-ray of my gear;

In fact if they would do more it would give me greater cheer.

Open wide, stick out your tongue – those fillings, are they real?

Or are they full of plastic stuff that goes off with a peal?

Take off your shoes and toss 'em in that pile right over there,

then be prepared for robots searching in your underwear.

Belly buttons just might hide a hand grenade, or licorice –

We apologize if you just happen to be ticklish.

Heavy coats and baggy pants might be a fashion statement;

At the airport you will have to make a clothes abatement.

Carry-ons are limited to comic books and Kindles –

If you start to grumble much we'll throw you on some spindles.

Behave yourself, and stand in line, and wait most of the night;

We're checking ev'ry cavity – and please enjoy your flight!

I hope we scare the terrorists with all this noise and fuss.

They'll either quit the bizness or decide to take the bus!