Taliban Phonies

I represent the Taliban; I've come to talk of peace.

But first my filthy palm with silver you must quickly grease.

The roads are full of land mines and there's snipers in the trees

And I think I'm smelling poison gas upon the Afghan breeze.

Peace is quite expensive, and surrender even more –

But we're willing to consider if it makes the Yankees poor.

I've got a little bank account where you can send the loot.

I opened it in Switzerland, now isn't that a hoot?

Let's start around a million, that will buy you just my smile –

And if you want a hand shake that will cost you such a pile!

But think of all the soldier boys your money just might spare;

I wouldn't call it blackmail, but I wouldn't call it fair.

I represent the Taliban – or so you must believe,

As my lies and fables I so positively weave.

I'm pimping hope for prices that will make my fam'ly rich,

And gladly still I'll shoot your boys and leave them in a ditch.

So pony up the dollars and I'll try to stay awake,

While you gamble whether I am genuine or fake.