Bingo

Instead of wasting money on some pasteboard happenstance

Why not make the bingo fiends step to a diff'rent dance?

In drafty halls we'll stick 'em with our sick returning vets,

So they can shrewdly ogle them and then start placing bets

On which ones will go crazy or commit quick suicide,

Or wind up homeless, begging for a quarter right outside.

Or maybe bingo ladies should be put in legislatures,

Where they can appreciate the predatory natures

Of elected fat cats, and then bet which ones will first

Be indicted, go to jail, and then be reimbursed

For their many troubles with the profits from a tome

Of turgid prose that will belong in ev'ry godly home.

Oh hell, let's just put Bingonauts up for the next election

And let the public make the finalized selection.

I'd rather have the government play bingo like big saps

Than continue with the current game of loaded craps.