Braces

The orthodontist lurks among the dental brotherhood;

Is he such a monster or is he just misunderstood?

Parents tremble at his name; it means an early grave

For the money that they thought they might begin to save –

Instead their daughter Suzy gets more metal on her jaw

Then they use in making a large circular buzz saw.

Intricate and miniscule, it's some Erector Set –

And plunges fam'lies into an abyss of long-term debt.

Still, what parent doesn't want their child to always shine

With teeth that have no tendency to ever crowd or twine?

I never on a Hollywood career for my kids banked –

I told 'em if there's problems they can go and have them yanked.

Who needs a bunch of perfect teeth if food or home is lacking?

I notice crooked teeth never kept my kids from ever snacking!